🍀A PRACTICAL RESOLUTION FOR YEAR 2023? - Issue 132

Hi, I am JOE and I write on "Mindful Productivity & Cerebral Happiness". My endeavour is to share life lessons, some thoughts, quotes & links to articles/podcasts/books, I discover during the week .

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In case you have missed my year end ritual ‘🍀PROMISES & RESOLUTIONS-Issue 131’, then you can read it here,

Let’s take a deep dive into this week RETAZO wherein I share my perspective on how to ‘find balance’as we move ahead in Year 2023.

The new year brings a desire for structure . A fresh calendar, a clean grid ready to be populated with plans and promises. And this is the precise reason why I take a break from my usual work and spend me time in the middle of hills & mountains to reflect on the last year, do some soul searching and make my progressive plans more intentional for the year ahead.

To give you a perspective, In this first month, we aim to plan all eleven months that will follow. Most of the departments & companies ask their employees to give their yearly plans. Some of us wants to plan more trips Or work on our minds, bodies, and spirits. We make promises to get in shape and promise not to the same mistakes. We wow to spend more quality time with our loved ones with an end goal to be happier, healthier, better.

Now just to give you a quick retrospection - Remember, last week, we were kicking ourselves for overindulging on holiday food? Were we not lamenting how little we got done at the end of the year or, conversely, how little we allowed ourselves to do nothing? In the midst of these conflict in our mind, what’s important is - how meaningfully we can look ahead ? , And this week RETAZO is all about ‘Finding Balance’.

I would say that - ‘Every year we engage in this swing from December self-lashing to January hyper-motivation.

And I can’t be the only one whose best laid plans wither by February. Are our outsized expectations and our sharp left turn to kick them off, when the clock strikes midnight preventing the sustainability required to make lasting change?. And this is the Question to ponder upon to find balance?

In my view a more practical way to look at new year’s resolution would be -

Find balance between structures that ground and motivate us and guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in life’s pleasures.

We often speak of our dualistic needs for security and freedom, safety and adventure. But even I have to remind myself of what that looks like in practice when every article and advertisement is pushing a slogan - “new year, new you”gym memberships, to-do list apps, and courses which promise life-changing results in perfectly-organized modules.

It’s not just the new year that makes it hard to remember the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity. Any time the pressure is on, we are so quick to forget the fundamentals.

We all know, for instance, that balancing predictability and newness is essential for children. It’s how they learn, grow, and make connections with the world around them.

But when I interact with adults and talk relational challenges, work problems, friendship fallouts, and more, inevitably they either have no clue , how did it happen?, Where to start ?, Or how to think about them to find the answers?. And to them, I have a hack to offer, I introduce a this loose equation to them: 

• Too little structure = High Chaos

• Too much structure = Rigidity

• Too much spontaneity = Dysregulation( i.e abnormality or Impairment)

• Too little spontaneity = Fossilisation and deadness 

I observe these imbalances in so many contexts.

Think of your romantic relationships. Relationships that are all structure and no spontaneity leave little room for mystery or creativity or new happenings to harness the erotic qualities/impulses to flow out in the moment, which are otherwise absolutely essential to foster aliveness and positive energy between partners.

On the other hand, all spontaneity and no structure can leave us anxious. Think of your friendships. Old friends remind us of who we’ve been. New friends remind us of who we can be.

Think of your work place or a company or a new startup, they need structure and spontaneity, too. They need legacy, accountability, and boundaries, as much as they need flexibility, creativity, and innovation. 

Now think of this new year. You don’t have to throw everything old out of the window. You don’t have to focus entirely on the new. The uncertainty of the year ahead doesn’t have to unravel you.

Trying to constantly control the unknown won’t make it better. Resolve instead to ground into what is real for you now and to prepare yourself for unclear possibilities for the future ahead.

There is no doubt that you need some discipline, but you also need to let go a bit. And if a little extra control is what you really want this new year and you are a type of person who get jitters if you stop planning every detail than no worry but at least promise me that you will plan or include some fun-time on the way to your year end destination. 

Do ask these ‘Questions’ to your own-self -

• What are your associations with the “new year”? 

• Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you? 

• Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out? 

• Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? If so - Why?

• What area of your life could use more structure? 

• What area of your life could use more spontaneity? 

For me, studying hope & finding balance is not only managing my uncertainty about what the new year will bring, but a way of actually getting excited about it.

Take good care & enjoy reading your weekly dose of cerebral happiness! And if you liked it then do not hesitate

Joe

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🍀-Snippet of Value

ARTICLE - With my recent acceleration in reading - I’ve started to experiment with the idea of providing reflective thoughts on the books I’ve read. Coming across this article, Tiago breaks down his process of summarising books in such meticulous detail. It puts my process to shame. However, it also provides me with the opportunity to experiment with his process and see the value out of it. If you’re an avid reader, I recommend checking this article out. 

WHAT I’M READING - CUEs- By Vanessa Van Edwards

PODCAST - Shane Parrish bring forth the ‘Conversations of the Year’ . It’s absolutely must listen podcast.