đA PRACTICAL RESOLUTION FOR YEAR 2024? - Issue 184
Hi, I am JOE and I write on "Mindful Productivity & Cerebral Happiness". My endeavour is to share life lessons, some thoughts, quotes & links to articles/podcasts/books, I discover during the week .
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Letâs take a deep dive into this week RETAZO wherein I share my perspective on how to âfind balanceâas we move into the year 2024.
A new year brings a desire for structure . A fresh calendar, a clean grid ready to be populated with plans and promises. And this is the precise reason why I take a break from my usual work and spend my time to reflect on the last year, do some soul searching and make my progressive plans more intentional for the year ahead.
To give you a quick perspective, In the first month, we often aim to plan all eleven months that will follow. Most of the organisations ask their employees to give yearly plans. Additionally, some of us wants to plan more trips Or work on our minds, bodies, and spirits. We make promises to get in shape and promise not to the same mistakes. We promise to spend more quality time with our loved ones with an end goal to be happier, healthier, better.
Just to give you a quick retrospections - Remember, last week, we were kicking ourselves for overindulging on holiday food? Were we not lamenting how little we got done at the end of the year or, conversely, how little we allowed ourselves to do nothing?
In the midst of these conflict in our mind, whatâs important is - how meaningfully we can look ahead ?
And this week RETAZO is all about âFinding Balanceâ.
đď¸â- Every year we engage in this swing from December self-lashing to January hyper-motivation.
And I canât be the only one whose best laid plans wither by February. Our outsized expectations and our sharp left turn to kick them off, when the clock strikes midnight preventing the sustainability required to make lasting change?. And this is the Question to ponder upon to find balance?
In my view a more practical way to look at new yearâs resolution would be -
Find balance between structures that ground and motivate us and provide guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in lifeâs pleasures.
We often speak of our dualistic needs for security and freedom, safety and adventure. But even I have to remind myself of what that looks like in practice when every article and advertisement is pushing a slogan - ânew year, new youâ, gym memberships and courses which promise life-changing results in perfectly-organized modules.
Itâs not just the new year that makes it hard to remember the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity. Any time the pressure is on, we are so quick to forget the fundamentals.
We all know, for instance, that balancing predictability and newness is essential for children. Itâs how they learn, grow, and make connections with the world around them.
But when I interact with adults and talk about relational challenges, work problems, friendship fallouts and more of similar issues - I find that inevitably they have a little or no clue as to how did it happen? Or Where to start now ?, Or how to think about them to find the answers?.
To those who find themselves in such situations - I have a hack to offer by way of these equation :Â đ
Too little structure = High Chaos
Too much structure = Rigidity
Too much spontaneity = Dysregulation( i.e Impairment)
Too little spontaneity = Fossilisation and deadnessÂ
I observe these imbalances in many contexts. For example -
đ¤đ - Think of your romantic relationships. Relationships that are all structure and no spontaneity leave little room for mystery or creativity or new happenings to harness the erotic qualities/impulses to flow out in the moment, which are otherwise absolutely essential to foster aliveness and positive energy between partners.
On the other hand, all spontaneity and no structure can leave us anxious.
đ¤đ - Think of your friendships. Old friends remind us of who weâve been. New friends remind us of who we have become.
đ¤đ - Think of your work place or a company or a new startup, they need structure and spontaneity, too. They need legacy, accountability, and boundaries, as much as they need flexibility, creativity, and innovation.Â
đ¤đ - Now think of this new year. You donât have to throw everything which is old out of the window. You donât have to focus entirely on the new. The uncertainty of the year ahead doesnât have to unravel you.
Trying to constantly control the unknown wonât make it better. Resolve instead to ground into what is real for you now and to prepare yourself for unclear possibilities for the future ahead.
There is no doubt that you need some discipline, but you also need to let go a bit. And if a little extra control is what you really want this new year and you are a type of person who get jitters if you stop planning every detail, take no worry but at least promise that you will plan or include some fun-time enroute your year end destination.Â
Do ask these âQuestionsâ to your own-self -
What are your associations with the ânew yearâ?Â
Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you?Â
Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out?Â
Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? If so - Why?
What area of your life could use more structure?Â
What area of your life could use more spontaneity?Â
For me, studying hope & finding balance is not only managing my uncertainty about what the new year will bring, but a way of actually getting excited about it.
Take good care & enjoy reading your weekly dose of cerebral happiness! And if you liked it then do not hesitate
Joe
đ-Snippet of Value
ARTICLE - With my recent acceleration in reading - Iâve started to experiment with the idea of providing reflective thoughts on the books Iâve read. Came across this article of Tiago wherein he breaks down his process of summarising books in such meticulous detail. If youâre an avid reader, I recommend checking this article out.Â
WHAT IâM READING - CUEs- By Vanessa Van Edwards
PODCAST - Shane Parrish bring forth the âConversations of the Yearâ . Itâs absolutely must listen podcast.