🍀 CONVERSATIONAL INTELLIGENCE - Issue #84
Hey Friends,
I meet a lot of young people, who says :-'they are very talkative' and I find nothing wrong in being talkative perse. After all, conversations are intimately ingrained into our day-to-day lives. We tend to be more aware of ourselves when meeting someone new and making a first impression.
Our communication skills are influenced by both biological factors like genetics and the environment we're raised in. We also develop social biases during first impressions (but the good news is that it's possible to overcome them ).
We have grown up with a narrow view of the conversations thinking that it's about talking, telling our stories and hearing others or just the information sharing. Conversations are not what we think, they are.
Conversations are multidimensional, not linear. What we think, what we say, what we mean, what others hear, and how we feel about it afterwards are the key dimensions behind Conversational Intelligence. Though conversations are not simply “ask and tell” levels of discourse, we often treat them as though they are.
To me, conversations are the golden threads, albeit sometimes-fragile ones that keep us connected to others. it's all about, what I call 'CEN MindSet' ( Connect- Engage - Navigate mindset ).
In conversational intelligence, we develop trust, It's more of dialogues and less of monologues. Conversational intelligence is about creating 'WE' and not 'I'. It's not about power over others but it's power with others. And what people bring to the table with their real-life experiences are incredibly valuable.
If we do not develop conversational intelligence then there is a danger of developing our blind spots due to reality gaps.
Conversational Intellegence is not about having power over others but to power with others to get on the same page .
Conversational Intelligence are more dynamic, interactive and constantly evolving. ._____ Joe Sehrawat
We build our social world through conversations. Words used in our conversations are not things, they are representations of our own self. One of life’s greatest fears is social evaluation. And so it makes sense that people are vigilant to any potential causes for embarrassment or social awkwardness.
Persuading or intimidating others are not conversational intelligence. Mostly, the breakdown happens, when we are talking to each other but in reality, we are talking past each other.
To navigate my path, I build my conversational dashboard in my mind with a Connect- Engage - Navigate mindset. This helps me to eliminate blind spots. The only way to harness the potential of Conversational Intelligence is to identify & understand your own blind spots. The few most common blind spots are:-
Assumptions:- We assume what we see, hear & think rather than enter into the actual meaning of the conversational dialogue.
High addiction of being right:- Being right makes us feel good but if things are conveyed either inappropriately or in a wrong setting, it would certainly make others feel bad.
Fear: - Creating fear, causes to develops distrust. When we are out to win at all costs, we operate out of the part of our primitive brain called the amygdala. This part is hardwired with the well-developed instincts of fight, flight, freeze or appease. When we feel threatened, the amygdala activates the immediate impulses that ensure we survive. Our brains lockdown and we are no longer open to influence.
Inability to stand in each other shoes :- Many a times , we see things differently. Unless we share and engage in a meaningful dialgoues, we are likely to develop distrust among us.
It's more about 'What we think about, what others say':- We rely more on our internal listening & dailaogues rather then what they are actually saying. We think that 'Assumptions of meaning resides in the speaker but actually it's reside in the listener'.
You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something you have to build a new model that make an old model obsolete
What Is Conversational Intelligence and Why Does It Matter?
When we learn to communicate in ways that create a shared concept of reality, we can enhance our relationships, health and overall wellbeing.
Have a great week ahead.
Joe
PS: Brain Trust :
📮 Don’t miss out—join the community to support the newsletter, expand your mind, and unlock your true potential!.. BECOME A VALUABLE MEMBER. (It’s Free as of now).
❤️ 🧠My Favourite Things of the Week : 🧤🧤
🍀 SECRET OF MAKING SMART DECISIONS — joesehrawat.com
No one really teaches us what it means to make consistently high-quality decisions.The decision-making principles in this article are both practical and time-tested. They work in the real world.
🍀 This is what I am currently reading :
The Fish In The Sea Is Not Thirsty
The fish in the sea is not thirsty but man is. Man lives in existence, and is absolutely unaware of it. Man is born in existence, breathes in existence, and one day will dissolve in existence. Man is godliness, made of the stuff called God , and yet completely oblivious of the fact.
🍀✍️ Quote of the Week :
“Changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.” — James Clear, Atomic Habits
⌛️End Note :🍀🍀
📍 Thank you for reading my Newsletter till the end, If you have liked it then ‘Do give a thumbs Up👇‘ and let me know your views. You can share it with your friends to see if they too like it as well.
📍PPS: Brain Waves:
Enjoyed the read? You can share the love with fellow curious minds on TWITTER or INSTAGRAM.
🏡🧭➡️ My Home Address on the Web - www.joesehrawat.com
I will meet you next Sunday with another edition of ‘Sunday RETAZO’. Till then “Take good care of yourself”.
Joe Sehrawat