đPROMISES & RESOLUTIONS-Issue 131
Hi, I am JOE and I write on "Mindful Productivity & Cerebral Happiness". My endeavour is to share life lessons, some thoughts, quotes & links to articles/podcasts/books, I discover during the week .
Hey Friends
If you are not a subscriber and want to become a patron of this newsletter, you can do this before diving into this weekâs âSUNDAY REATZOâ. This way you can support my work and will get a âProductivity Plannerâ worth $25 absolutely free.
Letâs take a deep dive into the snippets of the week.
The year 2022 has come to an end and you are reading this retazo in the Year 2023. I must say psychologically, any new beginnings along with it new hopes and promises for a better tomorrow.
Within every promise, there is an oath of accountability:Â an understanding that something will or will not be done.
 For example - I promise to love you until death do us part. I promise Iâll never cheat on you again. I promise Iâll pay you back. I promise Iâll be there and many such promises.â
A resolution, on the other hand, is a declaration of desire. Resolutions activate a mental state of regard for our quality of being. In this mindset, we live in the exhilarating in-between of who we have been and who we wish to be. Â
For Example:- I want to spend more time with my family and friends. I want to lose weight. I want to make time to travel.Â
The fantasy of a clean slate motivates us to change. But will we?
Personally, Perse, I have not made a resolution in years. The minute I set a goal of restriction, I am likely to trespass on it. Itâs something like people saying âwe donât drinkâ while pouring themselves a glass of whiskey.
Dissociation is at the root of compulsive behaviour. And no matter how creative we get, we still struggle with getting in our own way.
Ambivalence is a very interesting piece of the human psyche. I want and I don't want. I want but I don't believe I can. I want but I would feel guilty if I did.Â
Weâre always playing this game with ourselves, but it intensifies around the new year. Our resolutions reflect this juxtaposition (i.e contrasting effect) of self-criticism and self-optimization. The simple statement that we will change, makes us think that the parts of us we struggle with will disappear. We fantasize about that other person, the person we could be. Such magical thinking.
We often reward our efforts by momentarily indulging in the very habits weâre trying to break. We rationalize that what we do in one moment doesnât get in the way of the larger goal.Â
What are your views? ( Do let me know in the comment section.)Â â
The reality is that we live in a limbo mindset. On one side: We are what we are. On the other: who weâd like to be.
Between these two selves, thereâs another force at playâthe person we no longer want to be, holding on to commitments that no longer serve us, ready to break a promise but unsure of how. Find out what those outdated stories are masquerading as promises in your life? The examples can be - Iâm not successful because I didnât start with enough funds Or Iâll never find a partner because Iâm unlovable Or I will fail my children because my parents failed me, etc etc.
The new year is a good time to be forward-thinking about who you want to be, but itâs also a great time to look back at what youâre ready to let go of:-
 The wrong partner or job;
The narratives we use to justify our setbacks;
The versions of ourselvesâpast, present, future that no longer make sense.Â
There are plenty of articles that will encourage you to make new yearâs resolutions. I would like to invite you to think about the promises you need to break instead.Â
Take good care & enjoy reading your weekly dose of cerebral happiness! And if you liked it then do not hesitate
Joe
đ-Snippet of Value
ARTICLE:- The Value of Delight, highlights the notion of investing in tools that can provide the dopamine boost of âdelightâ. And, rightly so, the article goes on to state that investing in components and tools that provide 'value of delightâ can increase your experience of using those tools 10x and expand your learning growth.
PODCAST - The speaking show with David Newman, a few takeaways from this podcast: 1/ You have arcâs in your life that indicates when a chapter of life is finishing. Derek suggests playing out hypothetical scenarios and visualising how you feel - are you excited to continue or does it drain you? 2/Â If a goal doesnât jump you into action - let it go, and euthanise the goal. For instance, if you want to learn Spanish, and you keep stalling at the idea, never pursue it to your fullest extent; let it go. And, when you are ready give it your full attention and bring it back to life.
Great Write Up!